Mar 26, 2015

Can Your Antiques Business Pass the Acid Test?

Back before Saturday Night Live there was a radio comedy troupe called The Firesign Theatre. Their routines included a game show titled “Beat the Reaper” in which contestants were injected with a deadly disease and had less than a minute to analyze their symptoms and guess what disease they had. Those who did would Beat the Reaper. Those who didn’t … well, you get the idea. I suppose the comedy was all in the presentation.

A common tension-building device used by fiction writers is to place the protagonist in a situation where catastrophe is imminent and time is running out: Our hero is short on air, ammunition, fuel, time, or some combination thereof. If I was in such a situation, I might find some comfort in knowing just how long I had left. When the end came, I would at least know what had happened.

I wish I could say that about my first business. When the end came, I offered a dazed look to the accountant and exclaimed “What happened?”

She gave me a look reserved for the young and ignorant and said simply: “Let me see your books.”

I handed her my check registers along with a list of assets and liabilities and a box of receipts, which represented the extent of my bookkeeping back in those days. She grimaced and said, “Get back to me in two weeks.” Read More

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